Social Anxiety

It's interesting—as I mentioned previously, I ran out of one of my medications. It is BuSpar which makes my social anxiety somewhat livable. As in, it lets me grudgingly make phone calls and leave the house—I'm still prone to freaking out in groups, especially when I'm tired. I've missed a dose here or there and been able to tell, but this time I haven't had any since Sunday. Just when I begin to doubt the necessity of a medication, I discover how effective it is. I had to talk myself into even going out into my backyard and the thought of using the phone makes me nauseous. I've been taking Xanax to fall asleep at night because my mind won't shut up. I've been treated for some anxiety issues since I was twenty, but the stoke has taken something manageable and turned it into a HUGE issue. Even when I am on the BuSpar, I have to carry Xanax because I will suddenly freak out and start crying in public, especially if I'm tired. Even that only gives me a short grace period, so I need to leave asap. A store that's really big or crowded tends to end in misery; even if I don't freak out, I'm exhausted. Strokes really do a job on your chemicals. Of course, all my social paranoia's are more realistic now—that doesn't help. Don't even get me started on laughing when I'm mad!....Why are the emotional ramifications of stroke so widely unknown?